If the gold Age of half - assed kids ’ cartoons was theearly ‘ 80s , then I would like to dub the latterhalf of the’90sto be the Silver Age . It was a fourth dimension when animator would throw syndicated crap into children ’s eyes after schooltime to see what deposit , and almost none of it did . one-half of these half - assed series were about anthropomorphic animals in hope of replicating the monumental success ofTeenage Mutant Ninja Turtles , but even as a rip - off of their reptilian descendants , the Extreme Dinosaurs are terrible . Also , they met Santa .
I ’m well cognisant a great many terrible toon have featured guest appearances by Santa , but usually he ’s just … Santa . Extreme Dinosaurs manages to take this very dewy-eyed idea and make it unnecessarily weird and dumb .
First , a footling rundown on Extreme Dinosaurs , which is not just the title of the show but also their squad name , which is candidly unenviable . begin as even ol’ dinosaurs , they were abducted by an foreign malefactor who grow them into half - dino , half - mankind warrior . When the Extreme Dinosaurs rise , the foreigner grabbed another group of dinosaur call the Raptors . I have absolutely no melodic theme how the timeline turn here but now they all live on modern - Clarence Shepard Day Jr. Earth and fight down each other , in the main because the Raptors require to cause global thawing . Also , the EDs live in a dinosaur museum in the barren waste of Arizona , which is run by a human beings named — and I am not pull in this up — Pork .
Screenshot: 41 Entertainment
Bad Rap , the leader of the Raptors , has his gang head to the North Pole , where they contrive to place transonic disruptors thing in the ground that will somehow melt the ice . Meanwhile , a whole dissimilar signal has begin emitting from the North Pole , and T - Bone the T.Rex leads the Extreme Dinosaurs off to investigate — but not before some member of Pork ’s family drops off his boy , Matt , while he works until Christmas . Matt is extremely bitter he ’s behind empty at a derelict museum , I think justifiably so , and thus has no Christmas spirit . ( He is also completely unfazed by the sight of talk dinosaur men . ) In an deed of unfathomable child endangerment , pork barrel sends Matt to the North Pole with a bunch of dinosaurs because “ he could expend a little adventure . ”
The signaling result the Dinosaurs to an airplane hangar which does not house an plane but does arrest Klaus Nicholas , a sonar ? radar ? technician ? researcher ? who is dead Santa Claus . As you will read , he hit no effort to hide his magical top executive and offer utterly no account as to what the hell he ’s doing in this research place . But he ’s plain summoned the EDs to investigate some alarms that have been repeatedly going off , the cause of which turn out to be the Raptors placing their disrupters into the ground .
Santa instantly knows what the bird of prey are doing , and tells the Extreme Dinosaurs he can obturate the disrupters ’ sign if he fuck off one of the devices . And when Matt tries to trail along with the ED , Santa deflect him with a cupful of red-hot cyder , which he knows is Matt ’s favourite . Because he ’s Santa . Communications engineering Santa .
Screenshot: 41 Entertainment
The Dinosaurs snowboard over to the Raptors and have some wakeful fisticuffs which involve Bad Rap somehow find his own snowboard off - concealment . Then he gets bored with the fight and activates several Cyber - Raptor robots , which he bury deep in the ice instead of have on hand , in the first place so the animators did n’t have to draw them as much . The Raptors escape … for about 60 seconds , only for the Extreme Dinosaurs to regain them again . Then the Raptors forthwith hit them with a halt ray , and escape again .
Now , back in Santa ’s inquiry post , several wholly batshit things encounter . The first half - point thing is this conversation that arise when Santa ’s dog appears :
Santa : Mmm . You like andiron , do n’t you ?
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Matt : Yeah , but my dad wo n’t let me have one .
Santa : Well , pets are a lot of study .
Matt : That ’s what he says . And being a second parent and all .
Screenshot: 41 Entertainment
Father Christmas : That is a lot of workplace . Your father belike has his hands full just sample to raise you .
I assure you , the other half - peak is coming . The 2d full item is Santa ’s advice when Matt go out the Extreme Dinosaurs freezing to expiry in an frigid storm :
Matt : They ’re going to freeze out there . It ’s too cold for them !
Screenshot: 41 Entertainment
Santa : Your supporter are very resourceful . Have faith in them . I do .
The Extreme Dinosaurs are literally unconscious and buried under ice at this point . fortunately , at this point , the violent storm stops and the sun come out , reviving them . Now , did Santa as if by magic affect the weather ? Very perhaps , but whether by luck or semi - divine intervention , the Extreme Dinosaurs did not escape under their own king , and thus Santa ’s faith in them was entirely misplace . In fact , once free , the Dinosaurs warm up by eat on salsa , which is not how anything work .
The EDs find the Raptors by the hanger , just as they ’ve range their last sonic disrupter and are about to hit the detonator . But when Bullzeye the Pteradon manage to snatch the detonating gadget , Bad Rap grabs Matt from the research station as a hostage , a crafty move made more impressive that Bad Rap did not and could not experience Matt was there . He should n’t have even know Matt existed .
Screenshot: 41 Entertainment
Here ’s what Santa order : “ He ’ll be ok now that he ’s learn to consider in people . ” Then : “ The boy will be back in an hr . He ’s suppose positive ! I paint a picture you do the same . ” Ignoring the fact that this Santa can see the goddamned future tense , this is utterly terrible advice for a kidnap dupe or their fuck single . Also , please take a moment to pity the misfortunate children of the ‘ XC , who short discovered themselves find out a cartoon where the chief Hero were sit around around doing nothing .
Santa is correct , of class . The Raptor named Haxx return Matt correctly on meter to give Santa a letter of the alphabet — his Christmas wishlist , of course , perhaps having been convinced by Matt that anthropomorphic dinosaurs who do in force deeds in short after attempt to murder the vast bulk of human sapiens get presents . The uncivilized matter is that Haxx does . Santa ends up ease up the dino - terrorist exactly what he wanted , which was a baby tarantula . Also , please note Matt ’s belief in masses did n’t free him ; it was a payoff .
But that ’s merely idle . It ’s not insane . The remaining half a stop of insanity arrives Christmas morning when Matt gets his own present tense from Santa : a dog .
Screenshot: 41 Entertainment
Yes , despite the wishes of Matt ’s dad , and even after recognizing the difficulties and workload that come with being a individual parent , this prick gives Matt a frump anyway .
To the animators ’ credit , Matt ’s papa seems as betrayed as one might expect , although he tries to put on a upbeat aspect as Matt promises to take care of his newfangled favourite , a vow he will in all probability dampen in months if not week , forcing deal or dad to scoop the shit of the creature he never require in his lifetime in the first position . Ho ho ho , everybody ! Merry Christmas !
So , according to Extreme Dinosaurs , your holiday lessons are as succeed :
A positive attitude can help you escape snatcher .
One small , safe deed wholly negate try race murder .
cook living hard for single parents is its own reward .
I ’d tell you all to give yourself the nowadays of never watch out an episode of Extreme Dinosaurs , but I favor not to give natural endowment multitude already have .
Assorted Musings:
Bullzeye ask Santa if he can pull his sledge on Christmas Eve , to which the right-hand jolly previous sonar technician agree . But as you may see above , the TV tidings discovers Santa ’s sleigh on radiolocation , on which Santa is apparently missing . Did he descend out or voluntarily jump out ? Please discuss .
When arriving at the hangar , Matt approach a computer , model , and exclaims , “ nerveless plot ! ” As Santa directly points out , this is not a game but a collection of hot security feeds . Matt is an cretin and this episode was written by half - drunk 40 - year - onetime men who did n’t understand what video games are .
The voice actor for Spittor the Raptor do him with a Peter Lorre accent , and I detest it .
When the Extreme dinosaur extract sadness that they must wait another class for Christmas , Bullzeye holler “ Kwanzaa starts tomorrow ! ” , throws red , green , and black confetti in the air , and starts laughing hysterically . As God is my viewer , I have perfectly no idea how to feel about this .
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