10 Worst Futures Of 2007

Which visions of the future made us lust Lasik surgery the most in 2007 ? Hint : they involve wimpish cyborgs , fustian parasites , boring plagues and “ time - shortage . ” chatter through to read our picks for the most underwhelming futures of the past yr , in both scifi and futurist predictions .

( Note : We ’re not judging these thing on their own merits as entertainment , or science . We ’re look at how much we hated their adaptation of the futurity . )

The Invasion . In this movie ’s future , we bump extraterrestrial life kind , and they ’re like Prozac parasite . They make everybody ludicrously well - conform and devoid of affect . Many mass complained about the new upbeat ending , but it would have been great if scientific discipline had overcome the parasite in a clever , credible agency . Instead , we got the thaumaturgy tacked - on deliverance , followed by the promiscuous miracle cure . Blah .

Last Of Us 7 Ellie Crash

Spider - Man 3 . Yet another motion picture about an alien leech that changes your behavior . This one stimulate extreme vocalizing and dancing foolishness , plus high-risk emo hair . The struggle with the Venom parasite , so acute and distressful in the comics , becomes campy and speechless . And not unlike Invasion , SM3 has a tap -feeling answer to the parasite dilemma . for sure , it makes sense that our future holds struggle against behavior - modding creatures , but do they have to be so irksome ?

Bionic Woman . This video show should be just our flavor of close - future dystopia . usually , we have sex an evil brain - sucking corporation that implants its engineering science into a woman and then believes it possess her . alas , BW just is n’t raw or brutal enough to be a fun dystopia . Instead , it ’s just wishy - washy . The bionics in reality make Jaime wimpier instead of stronger . And the malign corporate overlord starts baby - sitting Jaime ’s sister and washing her dishes . Why ?

Chuck . Another NBC TV show about a human who take over spy technology , another boring bleak hereafter . Chuck gets the whole CIA / NSA spy database in his brain , but the spymasters who want to habituate him are remorseless and scheme to murder him as before long as they can line up a replacement . Too defective Chuck is such an teasing squealer that we rootle for him to die so we can get Chuck 2.0 instead .

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I Am Legend . This movie go on the “ worst ” list because of that horrible tacked - on termination , which made The Invasion see like Citizen Kane . First of all , the science - conjuring trick twist of the sport ’s blood containing the anti - plague serum is n’t explained at all . And then the redemption of the human airstream turns out to be this stinky niggling whitebread New England town , walled in against the heathen plague vampires . Bring back the Partridge Family plague survivors from Omega Man !

Y : The Last Man . In previous years , this comic - book series would have been on our “ expert future ” tilt . But it beget on the “ worst futures ” list for 2007 because of that bogus explanation for how all the men died . surely , every man on the planet dropping dead at once was never going to have a totally logical explanation . But the explanation we get is just nonsensical , mystical and weirdly anti - science . ( There ’s an alternate explanation involve the Israeli military and a bungled bio - weapon , but it ’s discount . )

Facebook ’s Death Grip . We ’ll all have too many Facebook friends to cope with in the futurity , final - preneur Jason Calacanistoldthe Washington Post . Now that Calacanis has thousands of Facebook friends , he just ca n’t deal with all the friend postulation and other triviality . So he ’s outsource his friend - direction to an intern . In a few year , we ’ll all be in the “ death clasp ” of overwhelming friend direction that will prevent us have a real social sprightliness and make us hate our friends . signalize us up !

Lesdilley

Future Files : The Next 50 Years by Richard Watson . Thereviewsandinterviews of this book alonemake itsoundhilarious . For starters , in the futurity we ’ll have “ ethical bankruptcy ” to let us launder our reputation , because all our mistakes will be exposed online . And we ’ll suffer from “ sentence - dearth ” and “ space - anxiety . ” D00d ! Anti - globalism willcrushthe European Union . The point in your electric refrigerator will talk to each other and articulate a potential dinner party carte . Freud , Einstein and Darwin may well be expose . But global thawing wo n’t be much trouble . My preferred part : hedoesn’t actually knowwhat Friendfinder is . He think it ’s a service that state you where your friends are presently located . Right . And Alt.com is all about tracking alternate timelines .

The Dark Space by Marianne De Pierres . This infinite - opera novel fill place in a dark future where man have colonize Orion . And it falls back on one of my pet peeves : the far - future society that somehow mime our own past times . The human settlers on the major planet Araldis somehow live in a lousy copy of Renaissance Italy . Except that it ’s all cyber , so instead of saying “ yearling , ” they just say “ ‘ bino . ” Which we kept thinking was brusque for “ albino . ” Oh , and an KO’d - blank space God speaks in 1337 - speak .

Heroes . And finally , another NBC TV show . ( PoorsufferingNBC . ) We did n’t detest everything about “ mass two , ” but the visit to the evil pestis future was boring . And the poor boy - visit - horrible - hereafter conjuration already happened in season one . This time around , it palpate really peremptory , like “ here ’s your fearful death - future , so suck it bitch . ” Plus it would be deserving losing 98 per centum of the world ’s universe to get rid of that boring Irish woman .

Mission Impossible 8 Tom Cruise Hang